.Editor's Note: The adhering to is actually the message of a character from Expedition 3 Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Resigned), reassessing the celebrations of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I haven't created very much about specifics of this goal during the course of the month I have actually been actually listed here, primarily for two reasons: the very first being that there has been actually quite little time to carry out that kind of composing, and also secondly because I'm not sure how comfy I am actually discussing notions I share with family and friends with the rest of the globe.Well, obviously the globe changed today. What I claim or even perform is actually really slight contrasted to the value of what occurred to our nation today when it was assaulted through ... through whom? Terrorists is all we understand, I reckon. Hard to understand at whom to guide our temper as well as fear ...I had merely finished an amount of duties today, one of the most taxing being the physical exams of all staff participants. In a personal conversation complying with that, the trip specialist informed me they were actually possessing a really bad day on the ground. I had no idea ...He illustrated the circumstance to me as absolute best he recognized it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually made speechless, then alarmed. My 1st thought was actually that this wasn't a real chat, that I was still listening to one of my Tom Clancy strips. It just failed to seem feasible on this scale in our country. I couldn't also imagine the particulars, even prior to the updates of further damage began can be found in.Vladimir came by fairly promptly, sensing that something very severe was being actually gone over. I swayed Michael into the element also. They were also amazed as well as stunned. After we authorized off, I tried to detail to Vladimir as well as Michael as best I could possibly the prospective enormity of the act of terror in midtown New york as well as at the Government. They accurately knew and were really supportive.I glanced at the Planet Map on the pc to observe where over the globe our company were and also noticed that our team were coming southeast away from Canada and would be overlooking New England in a few moments. I whized around the station up until I found a window that will provide me a viewpoint of NYC and nabbed the nearby electronic camera. It occurred to become a video camera, and I was looking south from the window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke cigarettes appeared to have an odd flower to it at the base of the column that was streaming south of the city. After reading through among the news articles our experts just received, I believe our team were actually considering NY around the amount of time of, or shortly after, the failure of the second tower. Exactly how unpleasant ...I scanned the cam all along the East Shoreline to the south to view if I can view every other smoke around Washington, or even anywhere else, however absolutely nothing showed up.It was rather challenging to think of job afterwards, though we possessed some to accomplish, yet on the following track we crossed the US additional southern. All 3 of us were actually working 1 or 2 video cameras to make an effort to acquire viewpoints of New york city or Washington. There was haze over Washington, however no details resource may be viewed. Everything appeared astonishing from 2 to 3 hundred kilometers away. I can not visualize the awful scenes on the ground.Aside from the mental impact of our nation being actually attacked and also 1000s of our residents and possibly some close friends being gotten rid of, the best overwhelming emotion being where I am actually is one of seclusion.Upcoming day ... I presume the exhaustion as well as mental strain received the most effective of me. I could not keep awake and also continue to create. Today was actually still complicated, but we started obtaining additional information, plus our team had the honor of talking straight with the Facility Supervisor, Roy Estess, that guaranteed our company that the ground staffs would certainly remain to function as well as guarantee our safety, as well as the risk-free procedure of the Station. Our experts additionally learnt through our Supervisor, Mr. Goldin, that incorporated that the partners in the System are actually all absolutely dedicated to continuing risk-free functions and support. These were certainly never concerns for me. I understand all these folks! The ground crews have actually been actually astonishingly supportive, extremely understanding of the impact of the news, and also have actually made an effort to be as beneficial as feasible. They have actually all been really professional and also focused though I can not envision the disturbance of the type of updates coming in and the idea that authorities properties could be vulnerable. They never avoided a beat, even when transferring nerve center. As well as a group of senior workers and also pals gave our company a quite comprehensive briefing about what was understood and also what was actually being actually carried out in the federal government as well as at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was actually quite handy and sort of all of them to carry out in the middle of all the chaos. The Russian TsUP has actually likewise been encouraging and beneficial, making an effort to uplink news articles when our personal assets were inoperable, and pointing out kind phrases ...My crewmates have actually been great, also. They recognize it's been a difficult time for me and also the folks on the ground, as well as they have actually made an effort to become as even keeled and valuable as feasible. Michael even repaired me my beloved Borscht soup for dinner. And they provide me loads of space to presume when I required it. They are actually very supportive as well as certainly outraged at whoever would do this.I recognize plenty of people in Washington, so many folks who take a trip to DC and also NYC, numerous who are actually flies, that I experienced sure I would certainly receive at least a couple of items of trouble over the next handful of days. I received the first one today when I knew that the Leader of the American Airlines plane that attacked the Government was Chic Burlingame, a classmate of mine. I found Chic during plebe summer when our company were in the D&B with each other, and also we possessed considerable amounts of classes all together. I can't envision what he should of looked at, and currently I listen to that he might have increased even further than our team may even consider by probably preventing his aircraft coming from being actually the one to attack the White Residence. What a horrendous reduction, yet I make sure Chic was actually combating bravely throughout. As well as rips do not move the same precede ...It's challenging to illustrate how it feels to be the only American fully off the world at once including this. The feeling that I should exist along with each of you, dealing with this, helping somehow, is actually overwhelming. I recognize that our company perform the limit (or even past) of an awful shift in the background of the planet. Numerous factors will never coincide once again after September 11, 2001. Not just for the 1000s and also 1000s of people straight impacted by these horrendous actions of terrorism, however possibly for everybody. Our company will discover ourselves feeling in a different way concerning dozens of factors, featuring possibly room expedition, unfortunately.It's dreadful to view smoke cigarettes putting from cuts in your personal nation from such a great point of view. The dichotomy of being on a spacecraft committed to strengthening everyday life on the earth and also viewing life being ruined by such purposeful, awful actions is actually jolting to the mind, despite that you are actually. And the know-how that whatever are going to be different than when we introduced due to the time our company land is actually a little disconcerting. I have confidence in our country as well as in our leadership that our experts are going to perform every thing achievable to much better shield her as well as our households, and also to deliver compensation of what has actually been done. I possess assurance that the good folks at NASA are going to perform everything important to proceed our mission properly and return our team safely and securely at the right time. As well as I overlook all of you significantly. I can not be there along with you in person, and also we have a long way to head to complete our goal, yet be specific that my center is along with you, and also understand you are in my requests.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An update to the final letter ... Thankfully, it's been actually a hectic week up listed below. And also to prove that, like our nation, our company are actually continuing our desired path with company customarily (as high as feasible). Tonight the most up to date addition to the station, the Russian Docking Compartment will certainly be launched from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Sunday evening (United States opportunity), it will definitely dock along with our team, at a port never ever made use of just before on the nadir edge of the Solution Component. This new component is going to offer us an additional place to dock a Progression or even Soyuz as well as will definitely supply a sizable airlock along with pair of useable hatches for administering EVA's in Russian Orlan suits, which our team will definitely do a few of just before our experts get back.The problem just before in managing today was inadequate information. The issue now is a lot of. It arrived at one time when email was actually recovered, as well as there is actually inadequate time to review all of it! Plus it's also difficult to take care of all of it simultaneously. Yet I value receiving it, and also I really value the wonderful characters of support as well as relationship I am getting.Our company are actually doing well on board, acquiring our job performed, and also referring to factors. Final night our company had a long dialogue over dinner regarding the value of these occasions, the possible actions to adhere to, and also what should be carried out. After dinner, Michael made a point of telling me that every e-mail he received from close friends in Russia said exclusively to inform me just how sorry they were that this taken place, prolonging their acknowledgements, as well as talking to how I was carrying out. Vladimir instructed me the Russian phrase for "acknowledgements" after talking with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star Area. (Both the Russian and also the English phrases are considerably very lengthy to verbalize simply.) Extremely kind individuals.For the last pair of times, the Russian MCC has actually been good enough to broadcast live broadcasts of radio news regarding the event and also linked tales, to make sure I was actually effectively notified. Every expert that has actually come on free throw line to talk about a treatment or even a complication contends some point stretched hellos to me with kind terms. Tonight the Russian capcom told us that because of the wedding day of recognition in the US, all the time people had actually been carrying flowers and also edging all the walls of the US consulate in Moscow, and also this night they were actually igniting candle lights in the street outside the consular office. How the planet has changed.People everywhere seem to be to acknowledge the senselessness and also terror in this attack. And also the incredible reduction. Moscow has actually managed these kind of complications in the final few years along with apartment as well as subway bombings, so they are as troubled to remove this threat as our company are actually. However the bottom collection is actually that there are actually good folks everywhere who would like to live in calmness. I review that a youngster inquired, "United States is actually therefore really good to other countries, our team always help everybody, exactly how can they despise our company a great deal?".I hope the example of cooperation and also trust that this spacecraft and all people in the plan display daily will sooner or later influence the rest of the world to work the same way. They must!Regrettably, our team won't be actually piloting over the United States during the time people are igniting candlesticks. Don't recognize if we might find that anyway. Our company did, nonetheless, observe a very unusual and wonderful view a handful of minutes ago: the launch of our Docking Chamber on a Soyuz enhancer. Our experts were actually surpassing it and it appeared concerning three moments after its launch from Baikonur as the sunshine struck our terminal, so it was still unaware. It appeared like a sizable comet with a right, vast rear silhouetted against the black planet beneath. Despite some bad lighting fixtures for some time as the sunlight reached our home window at a low angle, I dealt with some video of it as first our team passed the rocket, and then enjoyed it begin to catch up as it obtained elevation and speed. I shot until main engine cutoff and enhancer separation occurred equally as our company moved toward sunup on the Himalayas. A remarkable attraction in a memorable full week ...Lifestyle happens, even precede. Our team are actually right here to keep ... Frank.